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lyrics

PULL OUT MY CHAIR, OPEN MY DOOR
FOLLOW THE SCRIPT OF EVERY NICE GUY BEFORE
FLATTERY AND FLOWERS, AND WHAT A PERK!

OVER DINNER I HEAR ALL ABOUT YOUR WORK
ROMANTIC FLICK, WALK IN THE PARK,
BEG FOR A HAND JOB IN THE CAR

LET’S GET MARRIED, FAT AND BITTER
PUNISH ME AND SCREW THE SITTER
LIKE THE NICE GUY THAT YOU ARE!

NOW YOU MAY THINK I WANT IT STRAIGHT AND SQUARE
CUT OUT PAPER DONKEYS AT THE HARVEST FAIR
I DON’T TRUST GUYS WHO PAMPER THEIR DAME
I’VE SEEN HOW DOGS GET MEAN WHEN THEY’RE LAME
SO, RUN ALONG AND FIND YOURSELF A PEACH
WHO DREAMS ABOUT A VALIUM ROMANCE

BUY A HALLMARK VALENTINE
YOU SHOW HER YOURS, AND SHE’LL RESIGN
TO THAT NICE GUY SONG AND DANCE

THIS PERFECT PUNK, DON’T GIVE A FUCK
COULD BUMP A NICE GUY OFF HIS CHICK WITH A LOOK
DANGER AND PAIN ALWAYS EXPOSED
LIKE A VOLCANO ALMOST READY TO BLOW
NOTHING TO LOSE, EVERYTHING TO PROVE
HOLD ME DOWN AND KEEP ME TIED

I’LL TELL YOU GIRLS NOW HEED MY WARNING
WIMPY, INSECURE AND BORING
NOTHING NICE ABOUT A, NOTHING NICE,
NOTHING NICE ABOUT A, NOTHING NICE,
NOTHING NICE ABOUT A NICE GUY!

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from CRIME DOES NOT PAY, released May 31, 2017

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Crime Does Not Pay Calgary, Alberta

ORIGINAL CAST

Kris Demeanor - Mr. Crime & Guitar
Devin MacKinnon - Bob Wood & Guitar
Jamie Konchak - Violet Page & Bass
Lennette Randall - Eleanor Flood & Conga
David Rhymer - Marvin Shade & Keyboard
Selina Wong - Ensemble, Keyboard & Percussion
André Wickenheiser - Ensemble, Trumpet & Percussion
... more

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